


The music of my heart // l.s.

by NeverEnoughOfStyles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Breakup, Love, Love Letters, M/M, Music, One Shot, Solo Artist Harry, album
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 12:36:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15096869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverEnoughOfStyles/pseuds/NeverEnoughOfStyles
Summary: Harry Styles is about to drop his first solo album but before releasing it, he sends a personal and special letter to the person that inspired his songs. The only boy he has ever truly loved.The same boy who's now far away from him.Harry misses him so much, he's desperate without Louis. He wants his boyfriend back and maybe this letter is his last chance to have him again.





	The music of my heart // l.s.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fan fiction, so what I wrote comes from my imagination, that doesn't mean I believe it's the truth.  
> I'm Italian and this was an attempt to apply and improve my English, so I'm sorry if there are any errors.  
> I had fun writing it and I hope you'll enjoy it too :)

Hi, Louis.

It's me, Harry.

I think you already know that my album will be out next week. 12.05.17.

I wrote each song during last year and some months of the current one. I had more time to dedicate in the studio and maybe that's one of the few things I quite like of not being in the band. I miss One Direction, I really do, but I can't deny that there is one person in particular I miss the most.

I had the opportunity to finally open my heart and write down all the things I think and feel in the deep. Things that maybe I have never talked about before, like a part of me that only few people saw and lived with. And I can bet that now you're smiling because you're aware I'm referring to you. And I'm also 100% sure you've just rolled your eyes, lightly whispering under your breath: _how the hell did he know?_ As you always said when I made you notice stupid details like those. And yes, maybe I share a part of DNA with Sherlock Holmes.

Stepping back to serious matters, I'm writing this letter because I just felt the need to explain the meaning of the songs to you. You've probably listened to my recent interviews where I repeated multiple times that music doesn't necessarily needs to be explained, everyone can interpret the lyrics in their own way and stain them with their experiences.

I didn't lie completely but I wasn't even fully honest. The problem is that I can't hide the truth from you. 

Even if we aren't together anymore, even if everything has changed and our relationship it's just something happened in the past, I still love you and I will always do. But that's nothing new, right?

You know me pretty well, all my flaws and qualities, my stupid obsessions and habits. And stop laughing.

I snores but I don't do it on purpose and I walk around naked because I'm used to it since I was a child. Feeling free at home wasn't an excuse to impress you or to convince you to come to bed (maybe sometimes yes, but that's not the point of this speech).

So I wrote ten songs. Each one holding an important part of me and my life. They represent my past, my present and also my future, more precisely hopes for it.

 

**THE ALBUM...**

 

MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY

How can I forget the day you went away?

You left me in the hallway of that shitty hotel.

Call me names, but I'd wait for you wherever you want. I'll be at the door, on the floor, just tell me please where and maybe we'll work it out. I gotta get better, because I can't stand this pain anymore.

 

SIGN OF THE TIMES

It's one of my favourites.

_The sign of the times._

I think time signed me in many different ways. Only 7 years ago I was just a normal 16 boy who studied and worked in a bakery, hoping to earn some money to help his parents. I've always felt like I had to repay them for all the sacrifices they made on growing me up.

At that time I had absolutely no idea I would become a famous singer, with millions of dedicated fans all around the world. And I would have never imagined to meet such a precious boy at XFactor, that casually ended up in my band.

But time passes and carries sorrows along, so you cry and it's difficult to stop when you care deeply and truthfully. We made the same mistakes again and again, but we never learnt. And I told you we could have got away from there but you never listened. You were scared and I tried to give you hope, but it didn't work.

Maybe we haven't talked enough, we should have opened up more.

Is it the real end? Because I'm certain we can meet again somewhere, _somewhere far away from here._

 

CAROLINA

It's pretty clear it talks about a girl, but guess what?

It doesn't. It's about you, Louis. "She" is just a cover.

Who gets into parties without invitations?

Who's got a book for every situation?

Who said I reminded him of _home_?

Do you remember Carolina? And that pretty little house we rent last summer in front of the sea? Oh, how I wish I could go back to those days off in that country. Back then we were so happy and everything was just right and fine.

 

TWO GHOSTS

Well, there's not much I can say about it. Because it's pretty obvious you're the subject of the song.

I have to admit I was scared to add details that couldn't have been mistaken, like _the blue eyes and the same white shirt_. Everyone can read your name between the lines, but at the end I just found the courage and told myself: why not? If I have to be honest, I shouldn't hide that from anyone.

 _I can't touch what I see_ and believe me if I say that's the most difficult part. I wish we could be again who we used to be.

 

SWEET CREATURE

The first song I wrote for this album.

I don't know if you've ever felt at home near someone. I think so, but maybe years ago and not anymore.

Me too.

 _I've felt at home_. Between your arms that were the safer place in the world. We were young and naive, but I knew I had a place to come back to. No matter what, I had a _home_ , which is not only a roof over your head.

I'm rich and I have multiple houses around the world, but now I feel homeless because I don't have you near me. An anchor needs his rope to function properly.

We're both stubborn, I know but maybe fighting for each other it's worth it.

You're a sweet creature, Louis. _My sweet creature_ , always.

 

ONLY ANGEL

It speaks itself, doesn't it?

I think I'd liked to make you mine since the first day I saw you and now things haven't changed at all. There's nothing I can do about it, I got stuck in between your teeth.

You're an evil in between the sheets but...

Lou, you're an angel. _My only angel._

 

KIWI

I love this song.

It's cheerful and makes me feel better when I'm sad, which happens most of the time when I'm left alone with my dark thoughts. It also shows the rebellious hidden in me.

We all have a certain song to cure our broken hearts: Kiwi it's like my medicine.

Sorry for the "she" again, but you know I can't make it so obvious that I'm in love with a boy. And that _boy_ is driving me crazy.

 

EVER SINCE NEW YORK

_Tell me something I don't already know._

I need to hear your voice again, telling me something new you haven't told me yet. You got away without a second glance and I still don't know if that meant everything was over or if I can expect another chance.

Please, I need an answer. I've been praying for it, there's no other antidote.

 

WOMAN

Well, you have the right to judge me at this point... but what should have I done? Called it _Man_?

I'm selfish, I know but I can't stop myself from wondering what you could do with someone else that's not me. I saw you around that brunette girl, Danielle and I'm sure it's the usual beard, but what if she's really touching your skin right now?

I don't ever want to see you with her, even if it's all fake.

You are _my flower, my feast._

 _Man_ , you're making me bleed.

 

FROM THE DINING TABLE

I don't miss only you. I miss everything that revolves around you.

I miss those lazy nights where we would just lay on our couch watching silly programs, me being the little spoon even with my long legs poking out of it. Your fingers in my hair, so soothing and delicate. Your light kisses behind my head and neck. Those times you insisted to make us dinner and my desperate attempts to stop you from burning down the house.

I feel so alone now in this hotel room. I often have nightmares and when I woke up startled, I unconsciously pat the mattress beside me in search of you, then I find it empty and I remember why...

I still hope that one day you'll call me to tell me that you're sorry too.

 

So here there are the ten songs which you inspired me to write. I hope you'll think about them and what they mean. What you really mean to me to lead me do this.

 

All my love to you.

Yours sincerely,

-H.


End file.
